不管我四个月前有多生气 那都是过去的事情了 ，我现在想念我的朋友， 想念我们还是朋友时候的感觉。 昨天在ktv的时候一个人再去角落里哭，想着其实人的一生到最后谁也不怨谁 ，留给对方最美好的回忆才是最重要的。

…..

I broke up with my friend two weeks ago. i think i have passed the angry stage.

But it is not easy for me to go through the forgive stage.

There is still some bitterness inside.

And i’m ready to let it out, and talk to her, nicely and calmly.

But i don’t know what to do, should i text her or call her.

这件事情让我不爽很久，想了几遍没有结果，我妈说了 好记性不如烂笔头 所以我要把他们都写下来。

2012年八月四号我从上海出发 经过多伦多和温哥华 到达syracuse

我是由我第一个室友的男盆友接回家的

两人看着不错，不过没经常见面不是很了解，一直觉得需要道个谢

另一个室友是couple一起住，没什么想法。

几天以后搭了老黄的车去买东西，回来的时候遇见马婕。

过了几天去mall 又遇马婕 好感顿生

十几号的时候orientation 我便和她一起 感觉不错 办了好多事

觉得她有点不集中注意力 不过性格挺好

到开学期间我们申请过工作，她帮我搬过家，陪我去打排球遇见zzt，叫老黄去超市，去state fair。 everything was fine

then we always do things as four

九月中旬 去了趟大瀑布 马婕和zzt有了relationship

十一月 和老黄决裂，马婕买了车

从此觉得有隔阂，不常来往

去了迈阿密两周，明显觉得自己是invisible 马婕满眼是zzt

期间和叶非凡闹不愉快 不过她好哄 无所谓

后半程直接态度大变

和男友嘻嘻哈哈

对我态度十分冷漠

前后两句话的态度都是上下分明

最后连bye bye都懒得说

今天我做出最后努力

回来的是更无情的态度

丑恶嘴脸令人无法直视

我不需要知道自己做错了什么，我不需要和不喜欢我的人在一起

所以 拜拜了

希望zzt在你没钱的时候也会正眼看你

i used to think that there’s nothing worse than a bad childhood, and here it is a bad friendship, take a retrospect i never found my self stuck in a relationship that i am the one who is behind.i never fought with my friend, everything is prefect.

no no no, forget what i wrote above.

i’m here to cheer myself up!

i don’t need her in my life.

i can always buy my self a car.

i can do just fine in my academic work without them, i can always ask professor and TA.

i don’t have to waste time on them, since i spent almost all my time with them.

i don’t have to be with someone who don’t appreciate me.

i can ignore anyone who ignores me.

i’m not strong, but when it comes to situation like this, i will overcome it.

i will concentrate on my study and job, and i’m going to be amazing.

as much as i like to have a nice friend, if you are not qualified, i will dump u.

you are going to regret losing a friend like me.

i believe better ones are coming.

i’m not at my best emotional state these days, but i will be.\

i’m really sorry for myself that i didn’t see this coming soon enough.

and fuck you

yeah, i try to write this one, but now i talked to my mom, and i feel much better.

good night